Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Surfacing into the yellow leaves

Our household has been alive with swirling energies, as my bodyworker cohorts would say. The winds these days seem to mirror the movement of furnishings inside our home,necessary to make way for our flooring re-dos. Is it just coincidence that as our household foundations have been renewed, I've been experiencing the need to reaffirm my inner grounding?

I work with the ones close to the end of their lives by choice. The past week has brought transition for more than one of them, and today I am feeling the grief. I know it is an expectation of working with this population, yet each time it hits, I am awed, amazed. How incredible the quality of connection these ones have, despite the body's weariness. I am overwhelmed with the preciousness of the time I was able to get to know them and be with them, not because it has come to an end, but with the experience of how deeply even this short time together impacts me now.

I know that, for my own inner protection, I could choose to distance myself from these people as I work with them, but I deliberately choose instead to meet them with the same vulnerability and clarity with which they greet me. Yes, it pains more deeply that way to say good-bye, but I would not want it any other way. They receive the gift of presence that I offer with no reservations. They inspire me to do the same.

So today I turn inward, seeking quiet to better hear all they taught me. I'll walk and let the golds, yellows, reds, and greens minister to me, drawing me back up again.

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