Too much for one life?

These days, I feel strangely inadequate to hold all the things I'd like to, emotionally. I mean, I know I must be missing people. I write letters and send stuff to people voraciously when I miss them, and I made several trips to the post office in the past week. I've been writing like crazy, too. Nothing serious or marketable but blogging, catching up on my commitment to share our travel stories with folks. I have a marketable idea, but it seems the hardest thing in my world for me to send the query letter.

Perhaps it is this feeling of my world stirring up and me being part of the great wooden spoon. Or shall I say, oar? Anyway, before BiL got here, there was a massive interior repainting that we both are very happy to view each day. But once you make an improvement everything else begins to beg its shoddiness be revamped. The carpets are really looking frayed. My breathing does better in a rugless environment. So now we are looking at replacing the carpeting with wood flooring, and with that, replacing the bathroom carpetings with porcelain (in a stone finish). And the garage cannot be neglected. Its conglomeration of boxes and tools is patiently asking that we put in some shelves to tidy IT up.

I could just say no. But then we'd have that awful un-feng shui thing going on.

Well, BiL at least, seems to be happiest with his life in a sense of evolution. So the house is going along with that. I will, too, for the present. I like to think that a more organized garage will give some of the un-fs features of my glass working room a place to go, too.

I have heard "As above, so below" and in my life it is often "As inner, so outer". My body has dealt with congestion for years, and now that is clearing with wiser diet and clearer air. Is it any wonder that my home is following suit and coming into a more creative order?

I keep reminding myself of that on the days when I feel so overwhelmed that I don't know which contractor I should be calling next.

And all of this comes back to the fact that I cherish it all, every moment of it, really. It's not just the evolving of the household, but the growth and development and downright blooming that I see in all my loves. BiL is facing and managing tremendous changes in his personal and family life, my grand kiddos are each immeasurably beautiful souls, my kids who are no longer kids blow me away with the way they live their lives, the challenges they meet with more grace than I ever thought I had myself after many more years. Even my dad is handling the not so kind things his age has dealt to him with patience and resolve that surprise those of us closest to him.

We have more hot days than we should this time of year, but the nights offer reprieve and when the rains come they are that much more precious and instill thanks in everyone. And Thanks is a great place to be, to pray from, to love from.

The Future Pays a Visit

Well now.

Not one candidate or rep responded to my queries, except for blanket invitations to join the email lists. I tried that, but found that all I got were pleas for funding. So I am left to peruse the webpages, looking for a spark of inspiration from Obama, Hillary, Edwards... well, anyone alight out there. So far, I am less than impressed.

In the meantime, Tomorrows paid us a visit this week in the form of my darlings from Nebraska. I will leave it to 'Kip' and Julie to fill you in on their entire trip, but here is a bit of what I saw and savored:

The little crew of 5 sailed in late Sunday night with tales of their previous days n nights at the Tetons and a day of Yellowstone. Grizzly and black bear, moose and elk seem to have been drawn to them along the way. I saw pioneering hearts in Julie and DJ to bring the ever moving young ones so far, to set up camp and all that goes with it, giving the kiddos a safe place to rest and play. When I began taking my guys on solo camping journeys, the youngest was, maybe, 9. DJ and Julie's kiddos are 10 months old, 3 and 7. Wow. And their camps are tidy, well stocked, and warm on cold nights. But now, at our house, they could have a break, breakfasts each morning, laundry and showers and baths whenever they wanted. All they had to do was put up with this adoring gran'ma and remind me of the baby proofing I had missed. (I had forgotten to put away my rock friends.)

After a night's sleep (we'd given them the roomy loft for their lodgings), we gave them a breakfast of waffles and other fixings to stoke them up for an afternoon trip to the children's museum (for me, Bre, and Ashton) and a shopping venture for the rest. Breanna used the art table there to create signs for a 'surprise' dinner for her mom and dad and BiL when we went home. We visited the Co-Op before coming home to one of my stir fry meals, and then it was bath and story time. Loving the water so much, the giggles and squeals that come from the bath end of the house are healing to hear.

BiL had a double shift of teaching each day at the U, so was not able to join us as much as he liked. He and I took the (very cool, even on these unusually hot Montana days) basement guest room while they were here, and slept well despite my tendency to stay up too late, enjoying every last minute with the Lincolnites. He was only able to join us at the very ends and beginnings of his days, except for one, and I'll get to that in a paragraph or two. But despite his neverending academics, he always found at least a few minutes to give loving attention to everyone. BiL delights in the endless curiosities of the kiddos, and really regretted not being able to hang out with all of us more.

One of the things I got to do was reacquaint Bre and Ashton ( and introduce baby Riley) to our cat, Mo. They seemed fascinated with her little ways, and once I told them about guarding that she didn't get stuck outside in the heat when we would leave, they were keen on making sure she was inside when she should be. Ashton was so sweet in learning when not to follow Mo, and when to indulge in petting her. Breanna helped me with the bird feeders, alerted me when a bird hit the window, and Ri Ri simply did what a baby does and tried to keep up with everyone, wherever they went. We wonder if Mo thought Riley was a furless cat. She has never seen a crawling baby here before. She gave a few warning meows but she never struck out or nipped, even when a little hand grabbed a fistful of skin. So here was the animal world saying hello and welcome these bubbly ones.

Tuesday rolled in, still balmy and warm. After breakfast, Breanna, Ashton and I worked on some necklaces made of 'crow beads'. I added a tiny brass bell to each one, and the family wanted to hike, so we went up to the meadowed slopes of Bridger Bowl. Breanna, still getting her 'mountain legs' took it slow on the road up to Deer Park Chalet. Ashton and Riley rode in Mom and Dad's backpacks. Tenacity and love for the outdoors overpowered everyone's weary legs and took us to the base of Alpine lift where we headed back down. 'Must have been the mountain air that got to him... DJ opted for a very quick pack up back at our house, and we all set off for Yellowstone, to camp at Indian Creek. We pulled in there around 5:30 or so, and got one of the last 3 sites left. Whew! The tent went up, Julie and Riley laid out the sleeping mats and bags inside, and DJ made us all a taco dinner. Julie's s'mores and hot chocolate followed and then, after counting 37 or so bats overhead, we all tucked in to sleep. Poor Riley had a rough night, though, as did David (a case of hives), so next morning spirits threatened to droop. And still everyone was ready to jump in a river.

DJ has been re-examining his diet to resolve the hive issues, so we were having good times sharing food wisdom, preferences, and aversions. This is why you are not seeing many references to desserts (I love to make em, can't eat most due to gluten, though). I tried to keep fruit on hand and in the course of the visit Ashton (no dairy) and I discovered frozen fruit bars and so did everyone else. David thinks he may have reacted to the beef in the tacos even tho it was from the Co-Op.

So after breakfast and packing up we walked a bit of the terrace by Mammoth and then went to the Boiling River and spent the afternoon amazing ourselves with the pleasure of the hot/cold waters there. We got back to our house and cleaned up, and I had to leave on a last minute call to give a massage at the hospital, so I missed out on the grilled Boca Beerbrats but BiL was able to make it. After my appointment I joined our guests for a private (only us in the theater) showing of 'Evan Almighty' and then it was home and bed. They were so understanding about the nature of my work, supporting me in every way.

Thursday after breakfast everyone under 40 went to Pallisade Falls to picnic and hike. Of course, BiL was teaching, and I had hospice obligations. All but BiL were done in time to meet at Howlers where we got to see wolf pups close-up and touchable, and then we headed into town to meet BiL for dinner at the Aleworks. Following our delicious food, we parked nearby and walked over to the Music on Main event. We would have loved to build something at the Kenyon Noble tent, but the KN people never showed, so facepainting was all Bre and Ashton could do in the kids' activity areas, but they danced in the streets to Music on Main, bluegrass style. Our neighbors were here and there, and the ones with the horses invited us to give em a carrot or apple when we got home.

The last day of the visit was Friday. Between breakfast and the final baths and packing, these brave and strong hearted 5 followed my lead up to an overlook a half hour's ramble from our house. Julie claimed a ridge there (Julie's Ridge now, to us) and everyone between 1 and 40 created an artwork of that majestic view. Riley and I sat on the ground and tried not to eat dirt, getting in extra cuddling time:) Have I mentioned just what a treat it is to embrace just a tumble of pure love and energy? Well.... after adequate time to let the presence of that place soak into our bones and souls, we headed back down, changing our return route slightly. DJ visited 'David's Bench' (he had last snowshoed up there a couple winters ago) with Julie , Riley and Ashton. Breanna (she of huckleberry vision) and I sought and found the first crop of hucks this season, along with ample whortleberries and a couple tiny wild strawberries.

We all joined up again at the house. Everyone who would be traveling took their bath and packed up and when they were done packing, Bre and Ashton took turns having cold foot soaks in a bucket on the deck. Riley fell asleep in my happy arms. And just before leaving, we all took carrots to the horses (I should have brought more carrots) next door, and Ashton said he'd like to ride the black one someday. Julie took a last photo of DJ and me as I fought off tears.

I always cry when they leave, and I know this is a part of the letting go. And I wander the house, sometimes burying myself in housework and laundry, sometimes just letting my feet wander as if tracing little paths of energy and light that they left. When I went to put the laundered sheets on our bed upstairs I found their last gifts to us... the art they made on Julie's Ridge, and a precious note of thanks that we posted in our guest book... the book I was too busy (enjoying myself with the kiddos) to put into their hands while they were still here.

I also have gifts from Breanna... stones she found before coming here, and the art and sign she made at the children's museum.

And I have the gift of their being here.

Thanks to the angels that keep them safe all the way home.